While the congress was working on dozens, if not hundreds of pages of immigration reform, I was in my bed thinking up the best way to get
rid of illegals make them citizens. Assuming America has 10 million illegal immigrants, and it would cost $1000, to find, process, and transport everyone out of this country America would spend nearly 10 billion dollars. Obviously a large amount of money, and probably grossly underestimated.So what’s a plan that would work, and be cost effective for both the American government and low wage immigrants?
First temporary “Citizenship Centers” would be setup where a person could register to become a “legal” citizen. They’d theoretically be starting a whole new life, with a new identity and such, even all past crimes would be forgotten and forgiven. Hey forgiveness, Mr. Bush, isn’t that a Christian thing? Anyways, they’d give basic information like an address (could be a church or some other place, if they’re homeless), name, age, and all that other standard stuff. Then they’re issued an “Patriot Card” which includes that information.
The Patriot Card is what proves they’re here legally, and it would even include a photo. Some might object to this “Patriot Card” because it would single out fresh immigrants, but it would have some advantages too. For instance it could be wired to a database that had a point system attached to it. Points could be added to your card for taking ESL (English as a Second Language) classes, and keeping a clean driving record. Points could be deducted for drunk driving, arrests, and failure to properly report earnings. Eventually after a person received a certain amount of points they become a full class citizen.
Now with a certain level of points, they’re here legally, but they (or their employers) have to pay higher taxes on them, they could be more quickly ordered to take a driving refresher class if one is found to be driving in a dangerous manner, and so on. These increased taxes would be used, to pay for the new immigration system, and as way of recouping untaxed income, though that later probably wouldn’t be regained dollar for dollar.
Then after the current immigrants where taken care of, the hard part of true immigration reform would come. First we’d take down that stupid and illegal Mexican border fence – since the number one cause of illegal citizenship in America is due to overstayed VISAs – and not foot traffic. Second America would let as many immigrants come here. They’d be subject to the same “Patriot Card” system, except without the increased taxes. And if they did not accrue enough points with the card, they’d have to go back home.
Photo by, Alexander Steffler, covered under CC-BY.
Filed under: American Politics, Politics, Technology, The World